wow.. i had to rewrite the post cuz blogger was retarded..
but i just feel stupid. and that. you say that i was all "happy" until i got in contact with her. but maybe it's because you kept me from her all day for 6 hours.. i didn't even get to say goodbye. and she tried to talk to me every half hour.. but you took away my phone. what am i supposed to do? and then i disappoint her because i wanted to at least talk to her a little instead of ignoring.. and asking her to wait for me real quick with a brb.. but i guess that is bad too. sorry for having to help paley. i don't know what to do. can't even satisfy the two of you. i'm just a failure. i think i'm right to hate myself. nothing good i can see. i doubt you read this anymore anyways cuz you probably think i don't post on here anymore. well oh wells. screw me and my life.

p.s. i'm sorry for all those caught in the crossfire. i'm really sorry.

sigh.
hurt by my sister again..
and then you wonder why i'm always so mean to her...
she like.. hates me

hm. well. today was.. thursday :P
my foot was hurting the entire day.. and somehow i managed to "run" the 3 minutes today.
then.. not much.. still looking for the froggy that Micheley gave me..
**IF YOU SEE A GREEN FROG KEYCHAIN WITH A UC BERKELEY SHIRT ON PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME**
i lost it within the hour she gave it to me ._. I'M SORRY :((
well. then.. not much..
oh. didn't make it to the Tracy health thingy
rawr.. i guess i have to find out how to take the college course... >.< i don't wanna do Independent Study..
nothing much.
oh yea.. epically failed my Spanish test.. sorry guys..
TANK MAN in history.. i think that was like.. the only good thing about history today.

then.. more to come?
:D
stay tuned readers ;)
&hearts

well. here's the promised post that i mentioned...
my afternoon / night didn't turn out the way i thought it would.
Johnny called and came to my house for a talk.. (no i wasn't in trouble)
we were just talking about what happened on friday / sunday cuz he was told to go visit some other churches.. so i just filled him in and stuff. 'parently he's speaking for Jesus Club soon i think.. so yea. he stayed for dinner. YOSHINOYA :D (or however you spell it) yeaa. yay. then.. hw.. >.< spent a bit of time doing yucky hw finally finished... tired. so i decided to go rest on bed.. then got up and played sax a bit.. (i still have to put it away >.<) and now i'm blogging.
oh yea.. i did some research on animator thingys.. i think i'm going to fail >.< it looks so hard.....
b;lakdjf;lksdjf why did i choose that!??! >.<

so yeaa..
now i'm just yea.
&hearts
byee

not much.. just another day..
bio was good i guess
trying to install digsby :P
hm. iono.
i just don't want to do hw xD
maybe i'll post again later.

i was looking for viva la vida on youtube today.. and i found this
yea. i thought it was pretty nice (:
but this day sorta sucked... got sorta pwned on chinese midterm.. then just bunch of hours wasted doing nothing but playing video games, talking, and.. more video games? oh wells.. maybe that's why i feel so fail sometimes.
sigh. i hope i can be more useful.

nothing i ever do seems right.. maybe except Michele.. but i still. feel insecure.
i think i should revamp my blog again..
maybe if i have time.
sorry for such a dead blog guys... for those that still check &hearts
i hope my wishes come true...
maybe someday.. i could be a good kid.. oh wells..
finally found out that Kevin is leaving for Princeton (in August) today... gosh i shoulda checked my email more..
i hope i can be a better person ..better kid ..and a better fwend to you guys...
maybe someday i will.. maybe someday i won't..
only time can tell.

i figured it out ^-^

i found out how to make the heart sign now (:
&hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts

heehee.
I &hearts Micheley

well.. here's the post i was gonna post michele (:
and it is tomorrow... just.. at 12 am ;)
well.. this morning was bleh.. puked cuz i had an upset tummy ._.
well.. then i guess it started to pick up... almost pissed bruesch off by having a calculator out
then.. brannen quiz. i got one wrong for sure.. probably more but oh wells.
Our bio sub today is Rich ;) he gave us thousands of dollars worth of counseling? talking about "life"
acapella friday! heh. it was pretty nice (:
and then... spanish. hmm.. i guess it was alright... nothing different.
Mr. Lee pulled a prank on us again.. >.< told us that we had TWO sections for hw.. when we really didn't have any at all.. forgot my notebook.. so I "borrowed" paper from Emma :P
Stayed afterschool.. cuz i didn't wanna go home xD and then... my dad was out picking up Emily from piano class.. and didn't get my call to pick me up. >.< Michele's mom asked me if i wanted a ride... and iono.. "strongly suggested" i said yes? (hint.. i felt obligated :P) And then.. she wanted to go get mcdonald's... and decided to go to the one on bloomfield and.. alondra (i think).. instead of the one in Walmart at Townecenter.... dunno why.. i coulda walked home if i went to the townecenter one tooo. oh wells.. so anyways... we get there.. and there's like construction peoples redoing the parkinglot.. so Mrs. Bolanos goes to the drive thru.. and then me and Micheley pointed out that there was an empty parking space.. her mom was like... "but i can't back out!!" xD finally convince her to back out and park in the space. Then.. me and michele go inside to get food.. She ordered 4 fillet-o-fish ("fish fillet" as Mrs. Bolanos calls it) and i ordered one. SHIVVY I USED THE MCDONALD'S CARD YOU GAVE ME (: i used like $1.40 :P It felt cool swiping the card in the credit card slot thingy :D Thenn. we wait for the food.. and McDonald's like.. skips my order or something ._. for some random reason.. Michele's 4 fish fillets came out faster than my one. And then... this lady pointed out that i'd been waiting for a long time xD yea.. Yay for the lady (: Thank you lady! Oh.. and then while we were on the way to Mcdonalds.. my dad called me.. and i was playing with the flip phone that renz gave me... and for somereason.. i didn't pick up .-. and then he said he was gonna pick me up at schoool... and i was like OH CRAP. I called my mommy and she was like.. "his fault for not having a cellphone" but it was mine cuz i accepted the ride -.-" So anywayss. I finally get my order.. and then we're like.. stuck at the exit of the parking lot cuz of a bunch of cars.. And then Micheley's mom starts going on about how good of a driver she is.. and starts complaining about the cars xD and then.. Raymond somehow wakes up and says something about her mom acting like the "how to be emo / gangster" video on youtube O.O that was really random.. And then.. I finally get home.. thank Mrs. Bolanos for the ride.. and yea... Me and my mommy go to school again.. to find dad waiting in his car..
for some weird reason.. he wasn't really mad.. WHICH IS A GOOD THING ^^
yea.
so that was my McDonald's adventureish thing. xD
today was a good day ^.^
best one i've had in a longg time. Thank you Micheley, Mrs. Bolanos, mom and dad (for not getting mad at me) (:
yea..
i'm tired now
:P
nighty night peoples
thanks for reading (:

Brannen Project

well. to start off. sorry to disappoint. i didn't get to eat korean bbq. partly cuz i didn't want to? xD
wasn't really up for it. but my mom really wanted to. and then my dad didn't want to cuz it was "all you can eat" and he hates those... my sister was just.. iono. not feeling like eating it either xD. so we went to this place called "4 seasons" instead. pretty good.

got home. beat the "impossible challenge" in Ratchet and Clank. wasn't that impossible.. but it was pretty hard. then.. took a nap. Stayed up til 12:30ish doing the Brannen poetry analysis paper. Didn't even finish and brought it to church so i could finish it up after service ended. We met up for Brannen again today. The paper's alright i guess. my sister helped a lot. so thank you (: also special thanks to Harriford for some helps..
right now.. i'm supposed to be doing history hw and i'm stuck on #2 -.-" and my family is watching a movie without me :(
cuz i have to finish history and then do spanish hw too. sigh.. Tele :(

welll.. today is friday. so last day of the school week.
pe was. alright.. beginning was sucky. but it got a lot better (:
then.. math. suspenseful .-. 'specially cuz i was honestly was expecting a C.. yeaa. so. i now have an 85. cuz i didn't put my form # on the answer sheet so.. minus 15 points.. BUT i aced the test (: though i coulda swore i changed the last answer to something wrong... but maybe not?

then.. moving on to 4th period. we were supposed to have study hall / work on english project.. but that turned into "help dana with spanish and shivanti with theory" well.. at least i was a help...
5th period.. sexual selection. pretty interesting. then lunchtime worship. didn't do tooo bad i guess. but wasn't that good >.<
Spanish test was alright. not too bad either.
History.. finished watchin "swing boys" then. sat at our new seats.. got put in the corner seat but other side.. so i'm next to collins. got a 76/80 on history test... michele beat me without even studying .-. which... i dunno. puts a dent in my pride.. but then that's my fault anyways... i guess i shoulda studied harder?

well. afterschool sucked cuz i let it get the test get the best of me. sorry micheley >.<
then.. it got better.

my mom was happy for some reason today.. and wanted to go out to eat.. and i was like.. i just made a grilled cheese sandwich and ate it -.-"

so now we're going out tomorrow night to eat korean bbq
yea
that's it for now.
byee

past 2 days

well sorry guys.. i already broke my goal to post everyday.
i really was going to yesterday. but i dunno why i didn't get to.
well.
yesterday was almost really good.. 'cept i accidentally stepped on Isabel's slipper and then made her fall. I'M REALLY SORRY ISABEL CHUA. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. IF YOU STILL READ THIS BLOG THAT HAS BEEN DEAD SO LONG. I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER. i really didn't mean to make you fall.. it was just supposed to get you back for just leaving us and walking so far ahead? >.< i'm really sorry. I felt really bad about it in bio too.. :(

kay.. well that was yesterday.. today.. sorta sucked too.. like this morning. cuz badminton.. i just screwed up really badly.. so we lost a game.. but we wont the match i think.. and then math... found out i forgot to write my form number on my test which = minus 15 points... yay? automatic B plus the fact that i know i got one wrong so i got like a C -.-"

the rest was alright.. pretty good i guess. 'cept spanish seemed to take forever to be over.. we have a test tomorrow :(
Brannen test was alright.. not too bad. There were a couple of problems I didn't know.. but i guess that's okay.

This afternoon was pretty down.. not sure why i even started -.-" but yea.. it's okay cuz i cheered up in the end.. and i still am (okay micheley? [btw.. you called me for bio help while i was typing this] I love you! <3)

well i guess this post was sorta long.. not really. but yea.. gotta work on brannen project, bio sr's, study for spanish test, i dunno what else... just pull myself together i suppose.
well
byee peoples!
and thank you for reading this ^.^
have a nice day!

p.s. does anyone know what my sister and her geometry class is betting on?
cuz i really hope it isn't how long i'm going to last .-.

no more numbers

i don't know where i messed up in numbering the posts.. so i'm going to stop.. it says that i posted 50 times though >.<
i guess i'll try to post everyday now.. it's hard... and sorta scared that i'm gonna be approached by my mom at every word i say...
sorry mom.
i redid my blog layout though. lovin pon and zi.
today was.. sorta bad >.< which sucks cuz today's the 17th too. well. not anyone's fault but mine.. i shoulda bothered to check my bio work so that i wouldn't get owned with a 2/5 >.<
sorry mom for not checking. yea....
the history test seemed okay.. not too hard.. but WWI test was definitely heck of a lot easier
i dunno.
maybe i should make these posts super long?
i hate it how.. the days that i don't wanna go to church, i get little homework. But when i actually do wanna go to tuesday prayer meeting, i get overloaded with homework and crap... >.<
i haven't been there for like 4-5 weeks now .-.
what else...
gave michele the card today.
i combined 2 pon and zi's- the butterfly one / getting the love plague. it was pon pointing at the butterflies with the love plague and saying "I think they got the plague too."

yea... i'll try to digitize it and make my scan better.. cuz it's pretty ugly.

and michele, I promise you that i'm gonna try to be more happy... though i don't know if i can. i sorta realized it today, and then i couldn't get myself to be happy.
maybe i should just take my mom's offer and see a shrink?
oh wells.. time to do the english drawing for "Our Indian Summer."

PNo. 50: bleh

i can't concentrate on doing hw -.-
i'm sorry.
i know i promised i'd try to be happier.. but it's hard.. and i'm sorta failing right now.
and especially whenever i see those words.. it just.. hurts to see what i did.
i never knew it would turn out like that..
i just feel sorta bleh. and sad.

PNo. 45: couple weeks later

wow...
um.. long time no post..
sorry... i don't feel comfortable posting sometimes.. cuz my mom does read this..

life has been.. alright i guess.
today i was like.. major pmsing -.-
like.. right when i got home.. it was just.. bleh.
welll.. i don't think anyone really wants to know what happens in my life anyways.
not like anything really happened.. i only remember that my sax teacher was like..
you should go home and choose a new song.. cuz the song that we just finished was the easiest one in the book.
yea..
well
late post..
i started on this post.. and then ended up doing otherthings too.
i'll try to finish this up later if i remember.

Pno. 44: First day of COMPS

wow.. 1/2 of school is almost over.

not sure if that's a good thing or not.

comps was eh.. 

spanish- multi choice easy peasy, but essay... i ran out of things to write about >.<

bio- same with multichoice.. (sorta) and then freeresponse.. i got owned on #3 >.<

afterschool study... ehh. sorta.. depressed / hungry.. (bad combination btw) and.. sorta ruined renz / michele's study time too... rawr.. i hope you guys still do good tomorrow!

got home.. piano class sorta sucked too.. got owned again >.<

then.. depressed some more.. tried to get happier.

well. at least the day ended pretty good.

I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO FOLD THE ROSE huurayy! (:

i estimated 15+ hours of learning.. but my mom says 60+ O.o

but yea.. stupid youtube videos that made me really confused. but then that was how i learned too... so i dunno

well. i gotta get off the computer. it's getting late

hope you guys wished @ 11:11 today (:

'night, sweet dreams, and GOODBYEe!

Pno. 43: Sunday...

sigh.. eve before comps...

went over to michele's with renz to study / help her with bio.

then.. went home to cram for spanish.. i did like 2 1/2 hours.. made the outline.. parently it's spreading really fast

sunday church.. was interesting..

we made our own dragon thingys and had like some lame dragon dance competition between 4 teams.. very.. silly/stupid and funny at the same time.. 

oh well. i enjoyed it-ish.

Pno. 42: Saturday study? D:

oh noes... i have to study now >.<

well. i did a michele:

11:11:11 11:11:09 AM Julian 楊: ooh

11:11:09 AM Julian 楊: ooh

11:11:11 AM Julian 楊: 11:11

heh. on accident with andrew though :D

still disappointed about the extra bio essay on our final >.<

oh wells.. just gotta deal with it i guess.. 

gonna study later..

but now

munch on lunch with cooking supplements :D

lol. 

byebye noww 

i guess i might post later. :D

PNo. 41: Thursday~

um.. Spanish presentation today.. was.. alright i suppose. hopefully we did good. >.<
bio test was good (:
the presentation... hopefully me and emma will cinch it.
not much to say...
looking for an mp3 player?
my zune is a little jacked up... and STILL doesn't display chinese .-.
makes me mad... computer's goin a little weird too.

yeaaa.. not much to say
still goin hard on practicin sax... hopefully it'll pay off?

ugh. head hurts.. so i shall stop now.

PNo. 40: Birthday!

THANK YOU SO MUCH PEOPLES FOR COMING TONIGHT.
special thanks to: my mom, Renz, and Michele for making this all happen <3

best birthday ever.. even though the morning sorta sucked.. best night (:

yea.. more to come :D

PNo. 39: Birthday Eve?

so... day before my birthday
i wish i knew what they are pooling their money for
hm.
i want new elixirs for my acoustic and jazz reeds...
why they gotta make it so expensive? D:

spanish project was alright..

can't get myself to do hw >.<

PNo. 38: A little something for myself

heh.. i went to sam ash and bought a rovner afterschool today (:
sounds sooo nice. better than the crap ligature that yamaha gave me .-. but the sax is really nice :P
^okay i'll stop babbling about saxophones now. but does that mean I got a birthday present for myself? O.o

The guy was sorta weird and gave me some other case to go with it... and the old man before me was buying like a whole mess of stuff.. 203973097 packs of reeds.. and i thought they were there just for show and then the worker dude's just "oh.. he's buying those"

rest of the day was sorta bleh..
stupid chinese hw.. what a nice way to start my weekend.. WITH A FINAL! yayyy -.-xx
i guess i'm just making this blog post super long cuz i'm procrastinating to do my chinese homework.. which i probably shouldn't do cuz i have to leave for costa mesa at 5... some really good speaker dude or something. Well.. i'm determined to get better at sax.. must beat the famous Abelson ;).. don't think i can though >.<

my week was very blah.. so i'm not gonna think about it >.<
it's behind me now! (:

i shouldn't have went yesterday.
that would've been the easiest way to avoid all of this hurt.
thanks a lot shivvy.

PNo. 36: Happy New Year!

how come it's "happy new year" and "merry christmas"?
just curious...
missed the countdown.. but ohwells. the brannen essay really annoyed me today..
i think i might change my blog layout... maybe. (with my wallpaper)

hmm. not too much to say..
more on San Fran / Retreat to come... maybe.
if i don't post you can just ask me and i guess i could tell you.

yup.. back for the new year.